Welcome to the FINAL COUNTDOWN of author features before we arrive at the day we've been waiting for, when the pant-off dancing commences. In the next week, Alpha Heroes is pleased to host a number of author MadLibs, the FINAL EPISODES of the adventures of Candy and Belle, and who knows what else might happen. Registration is officially closed, but our Fearless And Compassionate Leader has opened up a few spots that you may be able to nab if you hurry!
And now please welcome Mario Acevedo, author, artist, former Army Ranger, and Reluctant Adult. His hit series features vampire PI Felix Gomez, werewolves, aliens, zombies, and a certain tongue-in-cheek nod to the detective noir style. I first ran into him on the group blog, The League of Reluctant Adults, whom I adore as a general population. I'm looking forward to getting acquainted with Felix, and not incidentally, Mario himself, at the conference next week!
So let's get right on into the questionnaire:
The Reading Until Dawn Con is different from typical fan conferences in that it will feature tons of games. So here are my game-themed questions (truthiness is optional, as I think readers will note).
1. No one ever beats me at the game of __Russian Roulette__. Whoa. Go big or go home, Mario.
2. Please fill in these blanks:
"When I was a kid, and they were picking teams for sportball, I was usually:
a) picked right away
b) not picked right away
c) one of the captains
I guess that fits in with the Army Ranger thing, too...
Later in life, I found myself __indicted for embezzlement and fraud__, and I think it was all because of how the sportball teams were picked. I.. hardly know what to say, Mario...
3. The most embarrassing/hilarious game I ever participated in was __strip poker__. Everyone was laughing at __the size of my faux pas__ . Hmm. I can certainly see how that would be embarrassing.
4. In an alternate universe, I am George R. R. Martin, only my fabulously successful 700-page epic book is titled __"Game of Scones."__ it is about __murderous barristas__. Aha! A twist on a popular inspiration! Looks like this one is going darker.
5. Once, __The Pope__ suggested that we play __Cards Against Humanity__, and I could only respond, GAME. ON. You know, I've said it before and I'll say it again, this pope is pretty cool.
6. Would you like to play the 5-words game? Sure.
Fantastic! When last we left Belle, she had places to go and attention to evade...
Meet Belle, P1 from Roselynn Cannes
And THEN this happened, P2 from Katee Robert
Followed by hijinks..., P3 from Aaron Ritchey
A Twist! P4 from ED Walker
Tension mounts.... P5 from Danica Favorite
Your words (from Danica Favorite) are: perpendicular, cachet, hoot, miniscule, and carrot.
Belle climbed on the scooter, steadied it perpendicular to the pavement, and got ready to zoom away. Problem was, the scooter wouldn’t kick over. Her jaw clenched in frustration. If it wasn’t one damn thing after another. A glance to the fuel gage told her the problem. The scooter was out of fuel, specifically blood.
“Gustavus,” she purred seductively.
He crawled toward her, bleeding, his clothes shredded. Her inviting tone beckoned him, and he responded with a hopeful smile. “Yes, my darling.”
The dinosaur bulled past the other man Belle had discarded. The spines on either side of the dinosaur’s top hat glowed orange as a carrot. “Really, Belle. You’ve done more than a miniscule amount of damage already.”
“Blame me, of course,” she snorted.
“On the other hand, you do bring some needed cachet to the proceedings,” the dinosaur replied.
“Speaking of hands,” Belle said as she reached for Gustavus’ outstretched arm. She seized his wrist and yanked him closer, dragging his lacerated body across the pavement. He moaned in pain.
“Hush, you,” Belle ordered. She unscrewed the fuel cap, then bit off Gustavus’ hand. Blood gushed out, and she hurriedly jammed the bleeding stump into the fuel port. When the blood slowed to a trickle, she said to the dinosaur. “A little help.”
He planted a large clawed foot on Gustavus’ lower back and began shifting weight from leg-to-leg to pump more blood out of the dying man. Bones crunched. Gustavus’ eyes rolled back and his mouth gaped in agony.
Belle wrung the last drops of blood from the stump and let the arm fall to the ground. She replaced the fuel cap. One quick tap on the starter button and the scooter buzzed to life.
“Belle, you’re such a hoot,” the dinosaur said.
“Likewise, my friend,” she replied. “Thanks for the help.”
“Where to next?” he asked.
“To get some of those delicious Clementines. After all, they are ribbed for my pleasure.”
I guess we can clearly see where THIS story is going, AMIRITE*?
To find more work by Mario, check out his page on Amazon or the the ebook outlet of your choice!
*I for one have no earthly idea!