Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Thursday Thirteen, Edition 20

Thirteen Lies About Why I Haven't Been Blogging
(the truth is, there *isn't* any really good reason. I thought that some lies would be more entertaining)

13. TOO BUSY. Good excuse right? Not true though. I was really busy for about two weeks on a home project and have been expending a lot of energy ever since to avoid doing all the clean-up stuff that needs to be done. Since this involves playing a lot of Sudoku on my iPhone, maybe it's not a total lie. Sudoku is definitely taking away from the blogging time.

12. TOOK UP RUNNING; I'm so hooked on this. I mean, it feels SOO good. The endorphins! I do it all the time and.... *oh I can't do this* HAHA HAHOHOHEE HEEHEEHEE!!! *wipes tears* HAHAHO *eats some fudge*

11. KIDS ARE SICK. Ooo, that would be a great one. Selfless, even. *checks foreheads all around* ... sigh. Nope. Not that either.

10. HOOKED ON "GLEE". Plausible. But no.

9. MY COMPUTER BROKE. Or maybe the internet was down? Something like that.

8. A GLITCH in the time-space continuum. I was doing some time-travel research and when I got back, I'd skipped like two months of blogging.

7. MYSTERIOUS POWERS. Recently, I discovered that I am descended from a supernatural race and have, um, some kind of superpowers that were activated when I, uh, hmmm, still working out those details... maybe there was a comet?... Anyway, I've been busy learning katana-fu and getting ready to save the world from Certain Destruction. Also, looking for a shade of red haircolor that really works for me.

6. BITTEN BY A VAMPIRE. One of the good, sexy ones; not a horrible one.

5. KIDNAPPED BY A GREEK BILLIONAIRE. As soon as I find a way to access email on Dmitri's complicated laptopper thingy and get myself rescued, I'll tell you all about it.

4. CONFRONTED BY SECRET BABY. So, I know it sounds a little implausible, but as it turns out, unbeknownst to me, some of my eggs were harvested back in the 80's when I was passed out at a frat party *scratch* in the hospital with mono *scratch* getting my tonsils out; then combined with genetic material from David Hasslehoff, and the result is this very bitter person who was apparently raised by evil scientists. It's been a headache. (What? it could happen. Ask Erika Kane).

3. ARRANGED MARRIAGE. Turns out my marriage of 12 years is a fraud, as my real parents legally married me by proxy to a Duke of the Realm when I was just a baby. Tragically, they were killed in an anachronistic carriage accident some few days later and loyal but misguided servants gave me to some kind, hardworking Midwesterners to raise-- to protect me in obscurity. Paperwork and DNA tests have only recently come to light. The Duke is pretty cute, but has some issues (don't they all??).

2. INHERITED $47.3 BILLION from a Nigerian princess. She was such sweetheart; so sad about the cancer of the amaryllis (apparently it's very painful). Not a great speller though. The paperwork has been a bitch but the funds should come through any day now.

and the number one lie........


Seriously, I've been reading my head off, and it's been some great, great stuff. Devon Monk, Kelley Armstrong, Vicki Pettersson, Melanie Rawn, Susan Mallery, Kristan Higgins, Jo Bourne, a bunch of new authors. Gonna really, really try to get some reviews up for you.

...I won't even wait for the Nigerian funds to clear.


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Sheri said...

Hey, Sudoku and reading are very important!

Heather said...

ROFL...Are you sure that Greek billionaire isn't the vampire who bit you? Thanks for visiting the Art Fair with me!

Deb said...

I like it! Enough of the excuses, I need to embrace my inner sloth more often and just admit I didn't feel like it :)

Alice Audrey said...

Being busy with something like a housing project is plenty excuse enough.

Rinkly Report said...

I believed all of it except the 'too busy' bit!

Erinjeany said...

LOL! Love it! I can never come up with good excuses either except I have a toddler, I say that and it seems to explain itself. lol

happy thursday!

Shelley Munro said...

I wish I had more time to read. I'm envious of your reading list. Say hi to the Duke for me. :)

Chef Dennis Littley said...

too funny, thanks for sharing a great list of reasons....

Unknown said...

Nigerian funds LOL My cheques in the mail. Fun list. Happy T13!

Kristen said...

What a mess it will be sorting out whether or not your unknown child is an heir to the Duke's realm. That may take all of the Nigerian funds for legal fees. You are still going to be very busy! Good think you can take you iphone anywhere.

Great list!

Journeywoman said...

What a great list! Can't wait to read the reviews.

Victoria Janssen said...


Paige Tyler said...

Love running! And sexy vampires are always good!


My TT is at

Janet said...

LOL thanks for the laughs :-)

jillconyers said...

Hilarious T13! I've been reading like crazy too.

Gattina said...

How is that possible ? you inherited too from the Nigerian Princess ? must be a commun relative of us.
Now let us think what we will do with all that money, lol !

Nicola O. said...

Thanks for stopping by, 13ers, glad you enjoyed it! Heather, it's possible that the Greek vampire billionaire was also one of the evil scientists as well as the running coach and financier to the Nigerian princess, you just never know.

Alice, i wish that was the whole reason. It really was only a week or so, but the house is still blown up as a result (my girls switched bedrooms, and all the excess stuff that needs to be sorted is still piled in the living room, arggh).

Kristen, those are excellent points, since technically Davicola was born in wedlock. Though I would need to research what the primogeniture rules are these days and how the whole DNA thing plays into it. Fortunately, the duke is extremely wealthy (natch) so he should be able to smooth out any major difficulties.

Gattina, it seems like Nigerian royalty is having a bad run of luck lately. There are an awful lot of them running around looking for people to give gobs of money to.


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